Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend

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(912): View more from Georgia

She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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(586): View more from Michigan

hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink

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(813): View more from Florida

I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him

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(734): View more from Michigan

my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW

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(434): View more from Virginia

In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.

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(914): View more from New York

His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.

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