8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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