In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
