if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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