Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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