8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
