I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
