I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
