nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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