You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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