you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Michael Bay diarrhea
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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