I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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