He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
