bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
