Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
