My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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