"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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