Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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