Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
