a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
