Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
