so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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