Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
