So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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