wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
