I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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