Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
