So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
