Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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