I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
