I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
