come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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