Im at strip club and am horny
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
