good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
