I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
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they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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