oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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