remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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