Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize