Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
