I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize