But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
