How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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