It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
