oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize