WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
