I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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