sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize