whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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