did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
