I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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