I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize