yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
