it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I didn't notice because vodka
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
