I skipped work to stalk him.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
