It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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