That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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