A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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