Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
