My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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