Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
