Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't deserve a penis
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
