His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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