I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
