Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
