It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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