can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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