marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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